My research was on what animal cruelty and what health affects it can cause human health to do (as you could tell by the title). It's mostly like if an animal is abused what does their trauma/problems with the animal affect the human health like does it cause the human to gain weight, does it cause a bad immune system. Does that make sense? I hope it does cause my mind is everywhere right now. My hopes are that somehow I gain more knowledge on where and what happens as it lands on my table (even it makes me become vegetarian), but it's not just me it's also the readers that will read my research essay (if they like essays that really need a lot and I mean A LOT of revising). Another hope I have is that this essay will actually be good enough to make the cut, cause some of my other essays were not that impressive. Some areas where I fall short on is giving detail which is actually pretty surprising. I don't know whether I should put the horrific details or hold off on them, and also my grammar and punctuation.( I wonder if most of you thought "it's the research"). So my question is: Do you think I should put more detail into my essay or if I should hold off on it? And if I do put detail where is the boundary line on too much.
Like I said before good luck to everyone on there paper! I hope you all do well, best of luck.
In my opinion having the "horrific details" adds to the effectiveness of your argument and allows the reader to understand that slaughterhouses are not what we make them to be. I think there should be a middle ground between having too much or too few (horrific detail) to prove your point.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Bryan, the "horrific details" will make your argument stronger. You need details in general to prove how bad some situations are for these animals but those real bad examples, the ones that hit the readers hard, are the best. Plus, it might even make your paper more interesting and memorable. One of my concerns about my own paper is that it'll come off as boring. I don't think you'll have that problem with your topic. And as for how much detail you should add, this may not be a great answer, but I feel like you'll just know. Like Bryan said, there should be a middle ground and I think you'll find that while writing. Good Luck!!
ReplyDeleteAs for the horrific details, I would include them because it's bringing to light the reality of what really happens in these slaughterhouses. Yes, don't go overboard on the details to the point that it may make a reader fee uncomfortable; however, it's those details that change people mind about the level of cruelty these animals are receiving. Some people may claim that harsh details like those are all made up or exaggerated, but if there's any way you can prove all of those claims with reliable sources, it may cause people to think differently. If more people were to share these descriptions of he horrific sights that are seen in slaughterhouses, it may limit how an animal can be treated. Animals shouldn't face torture, it's not good for them or the product they produce. I believe sharing all the images would help expose what's really going on and lead to a change.
ReplyDelete